For just a few minutes, forget what you have read in the reading about democracy, as it has totally missed the awesome, perpetual and well established democratic system, present in Pakistan and has misguided you somehow. Classifying the type of democracy is very difficult in Pakistan as its prospects are so vast that we can not name it.
So how to be a part of this esteemed democratic system of Pakistan?
Here are a few steps which will hopefully prove very helpful if you are pursuing to become a politician or in other words Awam ka khadim.
First of all you should be a landlord with a lot of Murabas or a business personnel having a large number of factories or real estate. You can also become a part of it if you are a son or a daughter of the above mentioned categories (but preferably a son).
Second most important thing is that you should have good relations with the people in power, you have to do their illegal works in order to get their favor. Also you have to bribe them often in the name of "gift" as don't forget that "rishwat Islam me haram he". These gifts can be given on occasions of Eid or new year. Remember higher the value of gift, higher will be your chance to get an entry in this democratic system,
as Jitna gur dalo ge, utna meetha ho ga.
You all are familiar with a circus which happens after every 5 years, yes intelligent people! we masquerade it as elections. So as with the second above mentioned step, you are already in good terms with the people of bureaucracy and government, so no need to worry at all. Just spend a few more millions on your publicity at bill boards, TV commercials, news papers and you can publicize through your lapdogs also. Gather people in your meetings and distribute deegs at the end of your speech. During elections, you can also help some needy by giving them 500 to 5000 rupees and can take them to their polling station by providing free transport. The more you will help such poor people on "just" at election day, the more are your chances to enter in our democratic system.
If you have shown yourself innocent on media during elections and you have successfully bought a lot of votes secretly then I congratulate you in advance at your fair and tremendous victory. Now you will be ready to retake all the millions of rupees which you spent on gifts, publicity and on the help of the poor. The stage is all yours for five years. Cheers!
So how to be a part of this esteemed democratic system of Pakistan?
Here are a few steps which will hopefully prove very helpful if you are pursuing to become a politician or in other words Awam ka khadim.
First of all you should be a landlord with a lot of Murabas or a business personnel having a large number of factories or real estate. You can also become a part of it if you are a son or a daughter of the above mentioned categories (but preferably a son).
Second most important thing is that you should have good relations with the people in power, you have to do their illegal works in order to get their favor. Also you have to bribe them often in the name of "gift" as don't forget that "rishwat Islam me haram he". These gifts can be given on occasions of Eid or new year. Remember higher the value of gift, higher will be your chance to get an entry in this democratic system,
as Jitna gur dalo ge, utna meetha ho ga.
You all are familiar with a circus which happens after every 5 years, yes intelligent people! we masquerade it as elections. So as with the second above mentioned step, you are already in good terms with the people of bureaucracy and government, so no need to worry at all. Just spend a few more millions on your publicity at bill boards, TV commercials, news papers and you can publicize through your lapdogs also. Gather people in your meetings and distribute deegs at the end of your speech. During elections, you can also help some needy by giving them 500 to 5000 rupees and can take them to their polling station by providing free transport. The more you will help such poor people on "just" at election day, the more are your chances to enter in our democratic system.
If you have shown yourself innocent on media during elections and you have successfully bought a lot of votes secretly then I congratulate you in advance at your fair and tremendous victory. Now you will be ready to retake all the millions of rupees which you spent on gifts, publicity and on the help of the poor. The stage is all yours for five years. Cheers!
1 comment:
Not to forget, using the emotional appeal during the time of an election, for instance, using Benazir Bhutto's death to win elections. This shows that democracy in Pakistan is not rational, the voter is not rational and national interest is ignored when electing the government.
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